To put this is historical perspective, the Red Sox played the Yankees in the very first game at the old Yankee Stadium on April 18, 1923, which the Bombers won 4-1. For 80 years afterwards, Boston had a very rough time facing New York on their arch-rivals’ home turf.

Much has been made of the construction worker who buried a David Ortiz jersey in the cement of New Yankee Stadium to curse the Yanks for years to come. How seriously does baseball take it curses and superstitions? The Yankees actually spent the time and money to dig out the jersey. (Considering which, I’m amazed that a Red Sox fan even made it onto the construction crew; I think the Steinbrenners would have demanded a pre-screening process.)

So far that expense does not seem to be well spent. New Yankee Stadium has not been particularly friendly to the Bombers, and not just when playing the Red Sox. The Indians 22-4 smack down of the Yankees will live in infamy. Perhaps the Ortiz jersey curse set with the cement, and no amount of digging can save them.

Or, more likely, the transformation of the Pride of the Yankees into the Greed of the Yankees is netting its just deserts. There were six thousand unsold seats for last night’s game. Six thousand unsold seats! For a Red Sox-Yankees game!  Most of them, of course, in the ridiculously overpriced luxury seating behind home plate and around the dugouts.  Talk about taking the energy out of the home crowd.  I’m not sure if the Steinbrenners are releasing those tickets on a game-by-game basis or are refusing to sell them except to non-existent season-ticket holders, but you would think they would see the importance of putting butts in those seats when the Sox are in town if nobody else.  The new “incentive” program still doesn’t cut it on a game-by-game basis.

But if they Yanks can’t sell those seats, how do they ever expect to continue to offer such oh-so-productive contracts as those they handed out last off-season to CC Sabathia, A.J. Burnett and Mark Teixeira?

• April 29, 2009 -- The Hate List: 4/29/09 – My Top Two Most Hated Sports Teams (11)
• February 7, 2009 -- A-Fraud (2)
• December 10, 2008 -- ¢¢ $abathia (0)
• April 8, 2009 -- Panic in the Bronx (or, The Soap Opera Continues) (2)
• February 10, 2009 -- Poor Economy Doing It to Manny and the Mets (1)

FULL DISCLOSURE: I spent eight years as a student of Our Lady of Fatima Elementary School and Home for Sexually Frustrated Women in Penguin Costumes. My mission while I was there was to torture nuns. Their mission was to beat me. Neither party failed to meet their objective.

The reason for this disclosure makes a modicum of sense when you learn the runner-up on my personal Hate List is…

THE NOTRE DAME FIGHTING IRISH 

   

Where do I begin?

Every year, it’s the same ol’ story: Notre Dame has one of the top ten recruiting classes, then they gag in a big game or three and end up sucking. They often lose one or two blue-chippers a year because the recruits cannot hack the “stringent academic standards Notre Dame demands of its students.”

What’s the word I’m looking for? Sheep__?… No… Alpaca__?… No…

BULLS#$@!

Given the advantages the Irish enjoy—NBC contract, weekly television, football conference independence—they should win a national championship every year. When Notre Dame manages to win 6–7 games a year they are awarded a second tier bowl game, thereby, often screwing a much more deserving, smaller conference team out of a big payday. There was a time Fighting Irish refused to go to a second-rate bowl game

Watching Notre Dame lose is about as spiritually uplifting as sports allows a heathen like me to be.

You might be asking, “…but Gairzo, why would a nice Catholic boy like you be a hater of the most revered Catholic institution in America?”   The answer—besides the fact this topic provides me the perfect passive aggressive way to avenge the Evil Sister Euphemia’s sadistic tendencies—is, in a word…

HYPOCRISY

In 2001, the Fighting Irish hired George O’Leary as the Domer’s head football coach. He had very recently turned around the Georgia Tech program. O’Leary resigned five days later because, as a young guy, he padded his resume. Okay, I can understand the need to maintain the illusion of integrity. But, I would have also fired the AD for not vetting his candidates more closely.

Then, Notre Dame shocks the world and hires Tyrone Willingham who had made Stanford football, yes, Stanford, respectable. They give TW, an African-American, a five-year contract. The “shock” comes from Mr. Willingham’s race; given the fact the school had never even interviewed a black individual for the head coaching position. His hiring was supposed to demonstrate Notre Dame had evolved from a lily-white institution into a progressive bastion of diversity—even though the deepest rumblings of dissent came from the school’s nation-wide and predominantly white legion of fans.

After winning ten games in his first campaign, Willingham was fired after two mediocre campaigns; his record was 21-15.

First year hires get five years to fail—at most universities. Makes sense, because college football coaches can’t field a team of “their kids” until after they recruit four years. Willingham got three. Even if we give the Notre Dame brass the benefit of the doubt, and not blame the Willingham debacle on racism, the facts say Willingham is the only ND football coach since Hugh Devore in 1945 not to be given at least 5 years at the helm. Willingham was the first African-American to coach any Notre Dame sports team—and the only one to this day.

For an in depth statistical analysis of ND’s hypocrisy regarding Mr. Willingham, read this commentary from Jon Wilner:

http://blogs.mercurynews.com/collegesports/2008/12/03/charlie-weis-return-makes-it-official-the-irish-are-hypocrites/

But, wait, my dearies, there is so much more…

THE CATHOLIC THING

Sorry, but you can’t boast about being a great Catholic University when altar boys are getting fondled under tabernacles across America. In fact, you might want to come out and support the victims of systemic pedophilia in some kind of public way.

You want the status of higher education pre-eminence in the Catholic universe? Donate a home game’s receipts to help kids whom your clergymen have scarred for life.

FIGHTING IRISH

I had the distinct pleasure of seeing my Irish neighbor, Tommy McLean’s, naturally red-faced head almost implode when I asked, “Hey Tommy, would you still root for Notre Dame if they were called the Passive Bulgarians?”

Seriously, the name “Fighting Irish” comes from the stereotypes of drunken Irish fighting while drinking. Even if you buy competing theories of the name being based on the famous Civil War brigade, perception does count. Calling a team the Fighting Irish is still the equivalent of say… The Baltimore Dumb Pollacks, The LaJolla Shining Wet Backs, or the California Bad Driving Asians.

Of course, one very possible side-effect of calling your team “The Fighting Irish”—the moniker could potentially embolden Irish Catholics who like to drink—and haven’t been to church in decades—to well, fight, at the drop of a penalty flag.

TOUCHDOWN JESUS

As opposed to a term like “The Immaculate Reception”, which cleverly describes a football play that seemed to have come about as a result of divine intervention, Touchdown Jesus is a mural of the Risen Savior looming above Notre Dame’s football stadium.

A few years back, I went to the annual ND spring game with my neighbor—he almost came to tears when he referenced Touchdown Jesus. I am not kidding; the man was about to weep.

Like many Irish fans, Tommy insists Jesus is signaling a touchdown.

I’m kind of thinking that’s not what the artist was going for.

BLUE JERSEYS

Talk about annoying. Please, if you nickname your football team with a negative ethnic stereotype have the decency to get the friggin’ color scheme right! I know the Irish have, on occasion, worn green jerseys, but the official team colors are blue and gold. And, no, I don’t care what those colors symbolize in Catholic mythology; if you call yourselves the Fighting Irish you are required to wear green—Kelly green.

Imagine the Red Sox wearing gold leggings… the Duke Blue Devils in orange shorts… The Raidas in pink jerseys…

WHAT THE F%#K!!?

The only other sports team that boils my plasma more than the Notre Dame Fighting Irish, the team destined to always be number one with a hollow point bullet on my Hate List is…

THE NEW YORK YANKEES 

   

This sports franchise represents all that is, has been, and forever will be wrong in American professional sports. Their corporate greed is the perfect American example of capitalism’s limitations as an economic structure.

GREED IS NOT GOOD

Before you assault my editor with vicious e-mails, and, please, feel free to do so, I do not begrudge great players—those who consistently average .300, smack 40 homers and/or 175 hits a year–the top money in their sport.

However, the Steinbrenners have single-handedly ruined baseball for a significant number of fans of less financially gifted franchises.

They are paying A.J. Burnett 13.2 million. By any measure of modern day statistical standards Burnett is barely a spider’s eyelash above average: 88-76 with a career ERA of 3.81. He also, conveniently, puts up his bigger numbers only when a new contract is at stake.

Hideki Matsui, 35 year-old designated hitter. Doesn’t even play the field: 13,000,000.00. Johnny Damon—terrible fielder, slightly above average hitter: 13,000,000.00.

And that ain’t all…

Forget the Stanks pay over the hill players obscene money. They even overpay the great players of the game. A-Roid—admitted, tiny-balled, steroids user—27,000,000.00. Let me write that out because I didn’t believe it when I verified the figure: twenty-seven million dollars!!!!

No athlete who has ever lived can justify earning that money.

However, if by yanking that kind of money from the Steinbrenners, A-Roid and his ilk hasten the team’s financial demise, then I hope Hank and the Boys suffocate between their own deep pockets

For all you Yankee fans out there, I know you are cursing. It ain’t my money, I’m from Pittsburgh, and that alone means I know nothing about winning baseball. No arguments here. The Pirates have sucked for so long Linda Lovelace has a lawsuit pending against them for copyright infringement. I also admit to a certain jealousy of nearly always seeing the Wankees making the post-season—but it’s way beyond petty jealousy.

Just like Neuter Dame, the Skanks have enjoyed certain advantages since the light bulb flashed over Abner Doubleday’s head.

The concentration of population in the New York Metro area gave the team once called the Highlanders the same economic advantages today’s Yankees enjoy. New York has always been able to pay the most to the best players just as they can today.

So, every time I hear Billy Crystal or some other smarmy Yankee fans drone on about how flies flutter like ballerinas around their hot dogs excuse me if I roll my eyes.

Don’t blame me if syrupy memories of the day Joe DiMaggio screwed Marilyn in centerfield, or the bonding a little boy enjoyed with his dad and a hooker on a steamy July afternoon makes me want to chug some ipecac syrup and give their remembrance a good taste of reality.

You know what, Billy? Nobody gives a damn. Not everybody thinks the Yankees have been fair to the game or to other teams in baseball. People in Kansas City and Minnesota, and Milwaukee have memories, too.

And, yes, Yankee lovers, I know. I could blame the four or five other teams who, along with the Yankees, relegate the rest of MLB to the ranks of a farm system—the Mets, Red Sox, Dodgers, and Cubs, but what fun would that be?

Besides, the Mets have no choice, as they are cross-town rivals in New York. Red Sox fans hate the Yanks worse than I ever can, the Dodgers high-tailed it out of New York, and the Cubbies are named after cute little baby bears. All legit reasons to like them and direct all my pent-up hate at the truly, and only, evil New York team.

Admittedly, there are smaller market teams that have found success in recent years but their long-term performances cannot and never will equal that of the Hankees. And, I am not blaming the Pinstripers for the utter failures of perennially poorly managed clubs like the Pirates and Royals.

I hate the Yankees because when they pay mediocre players huge money, the market skews unfairly and inexorably to them and the handful of teams who can, at least initially compete with the Steinbrenners.

To hell with the Yankees!

So tell us, who do you hate?

I am shocked that no Steeler haters have yet written in to excoriate your humble columnist and to disrespectfully refer to the only six—let me repeat—only six-time Super Bowl Champions as the Pittsburgh Squealers.

Where’s the Hate?

Next month: The Lighter Side of Hate…

• February 10, 2009 -- Poor Economy Doing It to Manny and the Mets (1)
• April 8, 2009 -- Panic in the Bronx (or, The Soap Opera Continues) (2)
• February 7, 2009 -- A-Fraud (2)
• October 30, 2008 -- Baseball’s New World Order (0)
• May 5, 2009 -- Red Sox 1, New Yankee Stadium 0 (0)

On the surface, not a story that seemed to have much to do with sports.  But this paragraph towards the end of the article cracked me up:

Tough times for the newspaper biz could make the company’s 18 papers difficult to leverage. More appealing assets would include an 18% stake in the Boston Red Sox and 80% of the New England Sports Network.

I had no idea that The New York Times owned any stake in the Red Sox, let alone such a significant one.  To be fair, in this time of multi-faceted, diversified international conglomerates there really is no such thing as a surprising business arrangement.  All of these corporations seek to make the profitable acquisitions possible.

It just always amuses me to see who’s in bed with whom, in politics as well as business.  It’s why, in the long run, both political parties are the same, just as all these corporations are the same.  And that the same reason why the sports business, show business and every other unique business all have one thing in common–they are all businesses first.

That the Boston Red Sox are considered one of the Times’ more desirable assets speaks to one important point: the Red Sox make money.

I wonder what the average Yankee fan must think.

• February 7, 2009 -- A-Fraud (2)
• January 14, 2009 -- Feeling Old (2)
• October 30, 2008 -- Baseball’s New World Order (0)
• May 5, 2009 -- Red Sox 1, New Yankee Stadium 0 (0)
• April 29, 2009 -- The Hate List: 4/29/09 – My Top Two Most Hated Sports Teams (11)

But this, this is too good. A-Fraud tested positive for anabolic steroids in 2003, thus truly earning the nickname so frequently applied to him by his detractors and, apparently, his Yankees teammates (thank you, Joe Torre!) even though there’s no evidence–yet–that he was still on the juice once he arrived in New York.

Time to wipe that smug, whiney “Who me?” expression off your face, Alex.

Maybe he’s not so talented after all. Stopping use of the ‘roids after the 2003 season (when it became illegal to take them) might explain his postseason failures as a Yankee, overrated MVP seasons be damned. Without the juice, perhaps A-Rod just petered out at the end of the year.

If baseball’s greatest rivalry wasn’t enough already, I now cannot wait for the Yanks to play at Fenway this season even more. Rodriguez will absolutely, and well-deservedly, be crucified. Barry Bonds will wipe his brow and actually think the Sox fans let him off easy in comparison.

I’m going to love every second of it.

• February 22, 2009 -- VideoDeep: A-Roid No Surprise (0)
• February 11, 2009 -- Cinderella Story (7)
• April 29, 2009 -- The Hate List: 4/29/09 – My Top Two Most Hated Sports Teams (11)
• April 8, 2009 -- Panic in the Bronx (or, The Soap Opera Continues) (2)
• February 10, 2009 -- Poor Economy Doing It to Manny and the Mets (1)

No, that conclusion wasn’t too damaging. What does take some getting used to, however, is hearing that ballplayers I grew up following have been elected to the Hall of Fame. In this particular instance, it’s Boston Red Sox left-fielder Jim Rice’s well-deserved recognition forcing me to confront the fact that my youth is gone.

The Hall of Fame is any sport’s greatest honor. As an honor reserved for the all-time greats, a Hall has the aura of being the permanent home for the legends of the past. So when a player you grew up with “makes it in”, that means that player is now a legend from the past… and, well, your youth is the past.

The funny thing about Rice is that he by no means is the first player I followed as a boy to be elected to the Hall of Fame, but he is the one for whom this sense of age really hit home.  For example, just two years ago Tony Gwynn and Cal Ripken, Jr., receive the honor, but I wasn’t nearly as introspective. Maybe it’s because Rice played for my beloved Red Sox, maybe it’s because Rice was elected in his last year of eligibility. After all, Rickey Henderson, also elected this year, was in his first year of eligibility–if it doesn’t seem like it was that long ago that Henderson was still playing, it’s because it wasn’t (baseball’s eligibility begins at five years).

Don’t worry, Jim, I’m glad you received this honor.  But I sure do feel old.

• February 7, 2009 -- A-Fraud (2)
• October 30, 2008 -- Baseball’s New World Order (0)
• January 7, 2010 -- Andre Dawson Elected to Baseball Hall of Fame – MLB (2)
• April 29, 2009 -- The Hate List: 4/29/09 – My Top Two Most Hated Sports Teams (11)
• March 10, 2009 -- Business Makes Strange Bedfellows (0)

For those who haven’t already heard, Sabathia agreed today to a 7-year, $161 million deal with the Bronx Bombers, the richest contract ever for a pitcher.  The clinching deal point is an opt-out clause that allows Sabathia to leave after only three years–and collecting a mere $69 million in salary–if the New York lifestyle doesn’t agree with him and his family.

Not too shabby. And not surprising.

In a tight financial market even for baseball, Sabathia was one of the crown jewels of this year’s free agent class, and the Yankees were desperate for a marquis signing after missing the playoffs for the first time in thirteen seasons and losing two starters to retirement. The Bombers needed a major pitching acquisition from both competitive and PR standpoints; Sabathia fills both those needs. No one, not even the Red Sox, fielded an offer large enough to compete with the Yanks’ original offer of $140 million over six years. Any misgivings Sabathia may have had over New York must have been quickly lost when general manager Brian Cashman tacked on an extra year and $21 million–with an escape clause.

Of course, last time Sabathia faced Boston in the playoffs, the ending was pretty ugly.  The Yankees must be counting on that performance being a fluke.

• May 5, 2009 -- Red Sox 1, New Yankee Stadium 0 (0)
• February 7, 2009 -- A-Fraud (2)
• April 29, 2009 -- The Hate List: 4/29/09 – My Top Two Most Hated Sports Teams (11)
• October 30, 2008 -- Baseball’s New World Order (0)
• April 8, 2009 -- Panic in the Bronx (or, The Soap Opera Continues) (2)

What probably hurt Youkilis is his own versatility, since he spent 32 games filling in for Mike Lowell at third base.  But Youkilis is primarily a first baseman, and his strength as such was rightfully noted this year when he was voted the American League’s starter at that position for this year’s All-Star Game.  Does he really deserve to be penalized for replacing an injured teammate elsewhere on the diamond?  I could buy the snub on those grounds if he hadn’t set that record, but 238 consecutive errorless games is very, very impressive.

• February 10, 2009 -- Poor Economy Doing It to Manny and the Mets (1)
• February 7, 2009 -- A-Fraud (2)
• November 7, 2008 -- Are NFL Payrolls Inversely Proportional to On-Field Success? (0)
• October 30, 2008 -- Baseball’s New World Order (0)
• April 29, 2009 -- The Hate List: 4/29/09 – My Top Two Most Hated Sports Teams (11)

Last night, as we all know by now, the Philadelphia Phillies won only their second World Series in 126 seasons.  Their victory occurred only one year after the Red Sox won their second Fall Classic in a four-year span, the first of which broke an 86-year drought.  And, inbetween the BoSox’s two championships, their Chicago American League counterparts, won their first title after 88 years.

Even the post-season losers have been defying history.  The Cubs this year made back-to-back post-season appearances for the first time since they won it all in 1907 and 1908.  And 2008’s runner-ups, the Tampa Bay Rays made the greatest one-year turn-around in the annals of baseball after an entire franchise history of sub-.500 ball.

None of this, of course, is news to followers of the game.  The big question is why all at once?  Is it just coincidence?  Or cosmic intervention?  After all, who else thought we might be facing armageddon when it looked possible that the Red Sox and Cubs might both make the World Series in 2003, the last year that the baseball status quo held true?  Or something else?

The answer is the one thing these teams have in common with all the great teams of the past: great leadership atop a deep, robust organization that does a incredible job scouting and developing from within while making the right moves at the right times.

Take a look at the Red Sox, the team widely considered baseball’s current model organization.  True, the Red Sox have one of the highest payrolls in baseball.  But it’s not their financial wealth that is making the difference, it’s their personnel wealth.  Theo Epstein is a brilliant general manager who makes great deals and knows when to pull the trigger on them–can anyone say Josh Beckett and Mike Lowell?  None of that would mean anything without the proper support, which he has in owner John Henry and team president Larry Lucchino.  But more importantly than big trades and free-agent signings, the Red Sox have developed an amazing farm system that is continually churning out players who immediately contribute to the major league club, forming the perfect mixture of veteran leadership and young talent.  In just the last few years, the Red Sox have successfully brought up a Rookie of the Year in Dustin Pedroia as well as Kevin Youkilis, Jonathan Papelbon, John Lester, Manny Delcarmen, Jed Lowrie, Jacoby Ellsbury and Justin Masterson.  Not to mention Clay Buchholz who, although he struggled this year, is young enough and has good enough “stuff” that he may still be a great pitcher–remember that no-hitter in his second career start?  With that many great young players, Boston has the core of a contending team for many years to come.  

The flip side is the Yankees, once baseball’s pinnacle of efficiency, development and decision-making brilliance.  The last few years have been marred by bloated payrolls for aging players unable to perform at the level they once did or who fizzle in the post-season.  With the exception of Joba Chamberlain, their prospects have largely flamed out, and there simply haven’t been that many of them to begin with, as they systematically are traded away for veterans during the stretch drive run.  And last year they even fired Joe Torre, who had been masterful at juggling all the big egos and personalities of his players simultaneously with the pressures of playing in New York.  Front office mismanagement at its core.

One thing is sure–new blood at the top is good for the game overall, generating more interest and excitement in pockets across the country even if some of the teams in question don’t general national interest.  It will be interesting to see what next season brings.  The Phillies, of course, want to repeat.  The Yankees have some payroll coming off–could the old-guard return?  And then there is Tampa Bay.  The Rays have made a strong statement that they are here to stay, and with the overall youth of their team, there is no reason to believe they won’t compete again.

Not to mention what the other 27 teams might have to say about things.

• April 29, 2009 -- The Hate List: 4/29/09 – My Top Two Most Hated Sports Teams (11)
• February 7, 2009 -- A-Fraud (2)
• April 8, 2009 -- Panic in the Bronx (or, The Soap Opera Continues) (2)
• February 10, 2009 -- Poor Economy Doing It to Manny and the Mets (1)
• May 5, 2009 -- Red Sox 1, New Yankee Stadium 0 (0)