Gairzo rounds out the NFL’s regular season with his Week 17 picks and rails upon the injustice of playoff teams rolling over “to rest their players”.
NFL 2009 – LOOKING BACK
We’ve come to Week 17 of the ‘09 NFL campaign and it’s time to look back at mine and Murray Dunnosquatis’ preview column and see if [...]

Gairzo makes his weekly football picks for Week 16 of the NFL season and delivers some more Christmas gifts for athletes.
MORE CHRISTMAS GIFTS FOR ATHLETES
To A-Rod & Barry Bonds:
Two Hackey-Sacks tied together… Just so you can feel like what it means to own a pair, since yours have shrunk to the size of peas.
Your stones–that’s [...]

Sorry I’m late. I just chased some intruder in a red velour outfit off of the roof! He escaped in a huge sled driven by what looked like jackasses with antlers. I just missed catching him because the ice made our roof slippery -
Oh, hi honey… Say hello to my readers… What’s that?
Of [...]

THERAPY WEEKEND
After my Steelers lost to the Browns, I had to undertake emergency therapy or risk sinking into a suck hole of apathy and depression.
The consequences would be significant if I were to succumb…

I wouldn’t write this column.
I would cease bugging my wife for sex.
I would spend less time watching football and more time working.

My [...]

WHO IS REALLY TOUGHER… DUMBER?
Look for a culture clash in NFL locker rooms for the next couple of years… Between concussed players who rightly see the necessity, and have the toughness, to say, “My head’s not right, I’m not playing,” and the young guys who earned their helmet dings showing they were toughest by returning [...]

THANKSGIVING DAY MASSACRE
Wow, The Gairzo laid a Turkey goose egg on his Thanksgiving football picks, including 0-2 on his specialty picks.
Somebody forgot to tell the G-Men that once you put pads, helmets and uniforms on, you should think about playing football.
Da Raidas stink only a bit less with Bruce Gradkowski at QB and couldn’t manage [...]

Yes, it is the time of year we give thanks for our health, our wonderful, peaceful, functional, families, our united, principled, incorruptible representatives, reality shows, and the BCS.
I thought it might be appropriate to give thanks for the:
Top Eight Sports Items I Would Be Thankful For–If There Was A God:
(In case you are wondering, doing [...]

GENIUS SCHMENIUS
Ever notice the ridiculous myths that only become “valid” if enough Jockos and Talkos keep repeating them like some cheap infomercial hypnotist?
One of my least favorites is associating the word “Genius” with any football coach.
Here’s the accepted definition of the word: http://encarta.msn.com/dictionary_/genius.html
Even if you make the stretch and apply the “somebody with outstanding talent” [...]

WEEKEND WITH DAD
When I was a pup, my dad owned a grocery store he opened at 8am and closed at 11pm. My sisters and I got to see him during his mid-day break, which was seldom more than an hour or two every day at dinner. Saturday mornings often found my dad and [...]

AND THE OCTOBER 2009 TAMPY GOES TO…
THE TENNESSEE KITTENS–I MEAN–TITANS
There really is no close second. The Titan-ic meltdown in Foxboro losing 59-0–in a foot of snow? An embarrassing, cat-aclysmicly, tamponderous act of quitting never seen in the annals of pro football.
First of all, if you can’t get up to play the eminently hate-able [...]