NFL Week 14 Thursday Night FootballThursday, December 10, 2015 12:26
Pick and analysis for the NFL Week 14 Thursday Night game.
NFL WEEK FOURTEEN THURSDAY
Minnesota Vikings (8-4) @ Arizona Cardinals(10-2) +3 46.5 [U]
Normally, this late in the season, I’d jump on a double-digit dog like an amazingly trained monkey, but this isn’t a normal situation.
TNF stats can be organized to prove home teams have a distinct advantage or enjoy just an equal winning percentage than other home teams…Ultimately, all the formulations tell us there is no statistical significance favoring the home team on Thursday Night.
After slogging through all the calculating, differentiating, and statisticisizing the numbers I got the usual angular gyrus/parietal lobe headache and decided to take a different tack. My research efforts led me to an article that scientifically labels all numerically averse humans as suffering from “dyscalculia.”
Actually, I’m relieved to have such a defective brain because I now am able to place blame where it rightfully belongs:
- On my parents…
- On a cruel God
- On the nuns who use to smack me in the head, thereby obviously damaging the angular gyrus/parietal lobe part of my brain…
Anyone whose kept up with my disastrous 2015 effort picking against the spread will attest I am not a numbers guy. But it really isn’t that I can’t comprehend advanced mathematical conundrums, it’s just, I remember sitting in Algebra class and being told to figure out 2x – 66z = 3y + a grapefruit, and thinking, “Who the f#@k cares.”
Usually, such ginormous philosophical questions were never answered, as I would lose myself gawking at some hot chick’s thigh or wondering how I could make Mrs. Opsatnik crack up when she called on me for an answer.
I owe that dear woman my life. I earned a big fat “F” my senior year and she could have made me go to summer school or held me back. Instead, obviously exasperated from my total mathematical apathy, she quipped, “Mr. Porpora, you are the worst student I ever had, but no one has ever entertained me more.”
I couldn’t resist, “At least I didn’t charge admission…ma’am.”
I’m giving you a “D”—please use that wit and smart-ass attitude to make something of yourself.
Which is a long, anecdotal means to conclude my gut tells me every player in the NFL would rather be in their own homes and sleep in their own beds during TNF week. Every. Single. One.
The 10.5 points the Gangsters are giving the Norsemen has to do with their youth at key offensive positions—most notably, QB, Teddy Bridgewater—and the absence of DT, Linval Joseph, stud linebacker, Anthony Barr, FS, Harrison Smith.
That guts the Minny defense of its three best players.
The Vikes are up against the most powerfully balanced team in the NFL—top four on both sides of the ball—playing for a coach they love, before fans who after 50+ years of football futility are rooting for the leagues best unit.
Take the Red Birds and give the points, Under the Total
Cardinals 27 Vikings 17
NFL Lines For Week 14 – 12/10 – 12/14, 2015
|Date & Time||Favorite||Line||Underdog||Total|
|12/10 8:25 ET||At Arizona [U]||-10.5||Minnesota||46.5|
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