NFL 2014 Week 17 Picks & Analysis – FootballSunday, December 28, 2014 5:00
Picks and analysis for Week 17 of the 2014 season.
NFL WEEK 17
Week 17 is upon us and The Gairzo is hanging by a thread against the Gangsters.
Next week we’ll add up the misery and see where we stand against the so-called experts over at CBS.com.
Only a handful of games have playoff implications for both teams; another handful for one team and four that are for draft position and pride…
Let’s see what we can do in week 17…
DETROIT LIONS @ GREEN BAY PACKERS – 7.5 47.5 [O]
Having grown up in the Burgh, I was privileged to listen to the unique play-by-play stylings of legendary Pirates ‘baseball announcer, Bob Prince.
The man had his own dictionary.
One of his more delicious phrases was “Hidden Vigorish.”
Basically, “Hidden Vigorish” means the longer you do, or don’t do something—get a hit, throw an incompletion, have a consecutive streak of anything—the more the cosmic pressure there is for “that” to end.
If you’re a Lions fan, you hope Prince was onto something.
Consider the following record of futility the Lions have accrued on Lambeau Field and on the other 31 NFL fields:
- Detroit hasn’t won in football’s Mecca, Lambeau, since 1991.
- Detroit hasn’t won a playoff game since 1991.
- The Lions have lost seven playoff games in a row
- Haven’t called themselves division champs in 22 years
That Vigorish is so well hidden, Sherlock Holmes, The Mentalist, Stanley & Livingston, and Jacque Cousteau couldn’t find it with the Hubbell telescope.
At least not this weekend.
Even with an excellent defense, a superb quarterback in Matthew Stafford, and the Secretariat of NFL wide-outs, Charles Johnson, the Lions have a Red Sea of history to part to claim their first division title since 1993.
But their best hope lies somewhere in the athletic tissue housed in Aaron Rodger’s strained right calf. The soreness was painful enough to force Rogers to sit out a day of practice; he is billed as “probable” for Week 17.
I think Rodgers and the Pack know their chances for a deep playoff run ride on them playing as many post-season games as they can at home.
Detroit has the defense and the offensive talent to flip the bird at history, but all I think they can do in Lambeau is cover the spread
Packers 26 Lions 23
GAME OF THE WEEK
CINCINNATI BENGALS @ PITTSBURGH STEELERS - 3.5 48 [O]
If you ever want to witness the most spoiled, infantile and racist fans—also the most loyal, passionate, and intelligent fans—on the NFL landscape, spend a playoff weekend in Pittsburgh, or just read some of the comments the more clueless in Steelers Nation wrote after Pittsburgh’s shaky 3-3 start:
- Tomlin has lost the room—he must go!!!
- They’ll never fire Tomlin; they gave him the job because of the Rooney Rule!!!
- Tomlins’ team is lazy and entitled…
- As long as Tomlin is in charge the Steelers will always be 8-8!!!
The barely hidden bigotry was even worse when Coach Tomlin publicly showed anger at being labeled a player’s coach. Apparently he and many other Black coaches believe that’s code for BLACK player’s coach.
However much I felt the coach’s comments were off-base—no one was more of a player’s coach than Bill Cowher—my criticism was grounded in what the coach said, not his skin’s pigmentation.
Point being, if you look at the comments following any Steelers article after their 7-2 run to the playoffs, what do you hear?…Crickets…
More recent articles are followed by some heartfelt tidings giving the coach and his staff credit for an outstanding year…Then as you scroll down you’ll note some comments in all caps—they read as if the writer were old men telling kids to get off their lawns while madly caressing their dusty KKK hoods:
“HE STILL HAS TO GO!!!”
Speaking of players’ coaches, Marvin Lewis has been the beneficiary of the consummate “Coaches Owner” during his twelve-year tenure in the Queen City.
He hasn’t won a playoff game, has coached his team over .500 in only six seasons to five very brief playoff appearances.
I came to like Lewis when prior to the recent Brown game when he called Johnny Manziel a “midget.” To my chagrin, I shifted back to neutral when he apologized “to Johnny and all the Fans in Cleveland.”
If I were Coach Lewis, I would have directed my apologies to Little People who find the term “midget” as offensive as Black folk find “nigger”—and I would’ve apologized thusly:
“I apologize to all the Little People and shouldn’t have insulted them by calling Jonny Manziel a midget. He’s a short little dude who were going to welcome with open arms to the AFC North.”
The incident microcosmed Lewis’ career in Cincy. Whenever they’ve had a real shot to stomp a division opponent and chomp on a bigger piece of the AFC North pie or put the league on notice the Bengals would be reckoned with, they’ve wilted.
That’s why we’re taking the Steelers over the White Tigers in this battle for divisional bragging rights. In the last twelve years, Pittsburgh has played in five AFCCGs, gone to three Super Bowls, and won two more Lombardis.
Nobody is going to take the Bengals seriously until they take themselves seriously and WIN!
A final note to all you band-wagoners who think the Steelers or Bengals have the goods for a Super Bowl run…
The 2014 schedule included games with the NFC South and AFC South. The AFC North’s two perennial powers, Baltimore and Pittsburgh are transitioning from old defenses with rookies to young defenses with a few wily veterans. The Browns put a new hollow point into their foot every week, and the Bengals?….See above…
Big Ben has a big enough day, Over the number…
Steelers 36 Bengals 27
LOCK OF THE WEEK
NEW ORLEANS SAINTS @ TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS – 4 47 [O]
Let’s not complicate this one by trying to convince everyone these are professional football clubs who both need a win.
The Bucs need Marcus Mariota, a rebuilt offensive line, and a better secondary a lot more than they need a win.
The Glazier—owners of a famous soccer team across the pond–knew they needed a new “face of the franchise” once Josh Freeman’s face left and they fired Greg Schiano.
The best chance of that face being an award winning signal caller is taking Marcus Mariota with the first pick in the draft.
The Saints will come into Week 17 as one seriously disillusioned football team who began the season with Super Bowl aspirations only to find themselves with a seriously inconsistent offense, an awful defense and an embarrassing public rift between head coach Sean Payton and DC, Rob Ryan. Win or lose they’ll get a decent player for their indecent defense or a young quarterback to replace Drew Brees who may have one or two good years left.
Bottom line… All the Bucs have to do is find a way to lose while providing the illusion they are trying to win…
They’ve been doing that all year…
Saints 38 Bucs 17
OVER/UNDER OF THE WEEK
ST. LOUIS RAMS @ SEATTLE SEAHAWKS – 12.5 41 [U]
The line in this contest confounds us even though the Hawks are tough at home and running at full throttle.
If there is any coach capable at keeping a game in Seattle close, and low scoring, it’s Jeff Fisher and the new Rams defense.
Sometimes these calls are simple to make—even if they are dead wrong.
Seahawks 20 Rams 16
As usual, my pick are below in bold italics:
NFL Lines For Week 17 – 12/28, 2014
|Date & Time||Favorite||Line||Underdog||Total|
|12/28 4:25 ET||At Green Bay US||-7.5 [O]||Detroit||47.5|
|12/28 1:00 ET||At Houston||-1.5||Jacksonville||40.5|
|12/28 8:30 ET||At Pittsburgh GW||-3.5 [O]||Cincinnati||48|
|12/28 1:00 ET||Indianapolis||-7||At Tennessee||46.5|
|12/28 1:00 ET||At Baltimore||-8.5||Cleveland||39.5|
|12/28 1:00 ET||At New England||-5||Buffalo||44|
|12/28 1:00 ET||At Miami||-6||NY Jets||42|
|12/28 4:25 ET||At Atlanta||-3.5||Carolina||47.5|
|12/28 1:00 ET||At Minnesota||-6||Chicago||44|
|12/28 1:00 ET||At Kansas City||PK||San Diego||40|
|12/28 1:00 ET||At NY Giants||-2.5||Philadelphia||52.5|
|12/28 1:00 ET||Dallas||-4.5||At Washington||49|
|12/28 1:00 ET||New Orleans LW||-4 [O]||At Tampa Bay||47|
|12/28 4:25 ET||At Seattle O/U||-12.5||St. Louis||41|
|12/28 4:25 ET||At San Francisco||-6.5||Arizona||36.5|
|12/28 4:25 ET||At Denver||-14.5||Oakland||48|
One Response to “NFL 2014 Week 17 Picks & Analysis – Football”
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.