NFL Week 8 Picks & Analysis – FootballSaturday, October 26, 2013 22:27
Picks and analysis for the 2013 NFL season Week 8 games.
NFL WEEK 8
I ain’t saying…I’m just sayin…
I thought I had a great solution for Daniel Snyder, NFL owner, regarding changing the racist nickname for his team in the nation’s capital…
My choice was WASHINGTON NATIVE AMERICANS. I figured in a matter of, say, one weekend, the team name would very affectionately be shortened to “The Nates” and that moniker would fit perfectly with The Nats who currently play hardball in D.C.
In addition, if Snyder chose he could keep the logo of the noble Native and be hailed as a champion for the Native American community and the media would paint him as a national hero—if a stinking rich, asshole football owner can be a hero…
I expected an early morning phone call from Danny Boy congratulating me on my genius, accompanied by an offer of two perpetual seats in his private box. Of course, I would turn them down on loyalty grounds, but reserve them for my sister who lives in Maryland and knows a lot of Nates fans.
I would, of course, only attend Nates’ games involving the Steelers.
This week—as I was fantasizing walking into Snyder’s luxury box suite in full Steelers regalia, face painted Black & Gold, slurping some I.C. Light and obnoxiously booing every Washington fan right to their eyeballs—I read a news story that a neighbor of Snyder’s had applied for a trademark for “entertainment in the nature of football games” for the name Washington BraveHearts.
In a stroke of utter stupidity, Snyder and his minions immediately denied any connection to the name BraveHearts and the Washington football club.
We can only hope Snyder and his minions are better liars than they are cultural guardians.
Am I the only one who sees the multi-layered beauty of that nickname?
If Snyder wanted to continue his rep as a sick rich, asshole football owner, he wouldn’t have to change the logo. The only caveat being the image drawn in the mind of most people upon hearing the name BraveHearts is Mel Gibson, face-painted blue, lopping off the arm of an enemy Highlander and/or screaming from inhuman torture “Freeeeeeeeeeeedommmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
However, if Danny Boy hired a decent marketing firm he could replace that image with the Native-American already pictured on his team’s helmets.
Either way, Snyder rises from the stench of arrogance and perceived insensitivity he has operated in for the last decade and becomes the face of Roger Goodell’s “new” NFL. The Native American community feels honored to be known as BraveHearts, liberal America pats itself on the back for another meaningless victory, and the NFL’s and Snyder’s revenues increase by 5.2%.
But wait, there’s more.
The unstated beauty of the name, BraveHearts is not only that it replaces one mythic set of warriors with another, or the name just sounds so damn cool, or is a harbinger of untold merchandising riches. Uh-uh, the name is an exquisite “screw you” to hacks like me who have pounded Snyder mercilessly for his “cultural insensitivity.”
The Gibson movie that inspired the recent trademark app was about a bunch of peaceful Scottish guys who got sick of a prick king screwing–and often murdering–hot Scottish chicks before their husbands had the privilege of properly popping their newlywed’s cherries.
Many of Gibson’s BraveHearts’ ancestors were the same people who fled to distant shores seeking freedom from tyranny and corruption—men who created the greatest nation in history by enslaving African’s and slaughtering Natives.
Every time oblivious Washington fans cheer on the BraveHearts, they will, in effect, be rooting for some of the most efficient destroyers of life in human history.
I dread the thought of Daniel Snyder laughing all the way to his off-shore bank.
WEEK 8 PICKS
WEEKLY TALLY = 8 – 7
CUMMALITIVE TALLY = 51 – 52 – 4
GW = 4 – 2 – 1
LW = 2 – 5
US = 3 – 3 – 1
OU = 2 – 5
SPECIALS TALLY = 11 – 15 – 2
PARLAY SPECIAL = 1 – 2
Bovada Account: – 100.00
GAIRZO AGAINST CBS
What a bunch of ham-hocks the CBS crew is. Pete Priscoe comes off like he’s Nostradamus and he was 1-5 last week in his weekly slate of picking three winners and totals—and he’s blistering the field for the year at 44%.
C’mon Pete! You, your CBS colleagues, and myself are all under .500 and I’m ahead of you all with a .495 mark—actually .500 if you count Thursday’s spot on analysis of the Seattle-Arizona game.
Don’t let anybody fool you; you cannot call yourself a successful handicapper unless you hit above 55%. There are very few in the game who can do it on a consistent basis. Those that can, work in Vegas.
I’ve played three Parlays on my own without recommending them in my posts. I figured I better correct that if I’m going to link my money totals in my Bovada account to my posts on DIS.
UPSET SPECIAL 3 – 3 – 1
New York Jets (4 – 5) @ Cincinnati Bengals (5 – 2) –6
Ask the Pats, the Jets continue to be a very competitive team—and their front seven is one of the NFL’s best defensive units. The Bengals defense is full of talent, yet not as consistent. Whichever defense can torment the opposing quarterback will determine who wins this game.
If Andy Dalton can hit A.J. Green and the Bengals play their “12” offense—two tight ends—with efficiency and take care of the ball, the Jets will get frustrated.
I just think Rex Ryan has his defense believing and Geno Smith will learn a lot from his rough outing in the ‘Burgh—and the follow up victory at the Razor.
The Striped Cats haven’t beaten any team of note. Brady was struggling a couple weeks ago, has been all year. So too were the Steelers. Even against Pittsburgh, the game went down to the wire.
Maybe playing every game down to the cuticles is an MO that works for Marvin Lewis; it wouldn’t surprise me if this was a breakout game and a let down game for the Planes—after their usual divisional battle with the Pats.
I just like what Rex Ryan has gotten from his players and I think they will give him even more on Sunday—at least, enough to cover.
BENGALS 23, JETS 21
GAME OF THE WEEK 4 – 2 – 1
Miami Dolphins @ New England Patriots –6.5
Go ‘head find another legit GOW match-up on the board…
Most of the trends say Miami will cover. I’m going with Brady because in his second week with a healthy Gronk, timing won’t be the issue it has been for most of 2013.
Here’s another reason, the Pats have been close in every game—win or lose. I get the feeling the Pats are like a racehorse trying to find its stride. This will be the week they break out.
I’ve actually heard knowledgeable football people wonder if Brady is “slowing down” or “losing it.” For a normal quarterback, losing 3-4 of your top receivers might create major malfunctions. Brady is just plugging away waiting for his receivers to catch up.
In three weeks those same experts will pitch Brady for MVP.
PATRIOTS 30, DOLPHINS 20
LOCK OF THE WEEK 2 – 5
Seattle Seahawks @ St. Louis Rams -11
It is almost a cardinal rule—never bet against a home dog giving more than a touch down.
Rules are made to be broken…
No mystery here. The Rams put in a phone call to Brett Favre.
That’s really all we need to know.
SEAHAWKS 37, RAMS 13
OVER/UNDER OF THE WEEK 2 – 5
Pittsburgh Steelers @ Oakland Raiders +25 (40.5)
We’re taking the over for a few good reasons:
- Terrelle Pryor is starting to show the talent he has…a legit threat to score from way long with his legs or his arm…
- The Steelers defense is starting to look young and fast—and the turnovers are coming…
- Big Ben is seeing results in Todd Haley’s offense—balance, caution—then strike deep…
I’m taking the Steelers because I am a Steelers fan and hate the Raiders—and I always will.
Now that’s what I call expert analysis.
STEELERS 32, RAIDERS 17
Reminder, I pick these games at various times during the week. The point spreads and totals may shift before game time…
As usual, my picks are in italics below…
NFL Lines For Week 8 – 10/27 – 10/28, 2013
|Date & Time||Favorite||Line||Underdog||Total|
|W 10/24 8:00 ET||Carolina Par/Total||-15.5||At Tampa Bay||41|
|10/27 1:00 ET||San Francisco||-15.5||At Jacksonville||41|
|10/27 1:00 ET||At Detroit||-3||Dallas||51|
|10/27 1:00 ET||At Philadelphia||-5.5||NY Giants||51|
|10/27 1:00 ET||At Kansas City||-9||Cleveland||39|
|10/27 1:00 ET||At New Orleans||-11||Buffalo||49|
|10/27 1:00 ET||At New England||-6.5 GW||Miami||45.5|
|10/27 4:05 ET||At Cincinnati||-6.5 US||NY Jets||41|
|10/27 4:05 ET||Pittsburgh||-2.5 O/U||At Oakland||40.5|
|10/27 4:25 ET||At Denver||-12||Washington||58.5|
|10/27 4:25 ET||At Arizona||-2.5||Atlanta||45|
|10/27 8:30 ET||Green Bay||-9||At Minnesota||47.5|
Monday Night Football Line
|10/28 8:40 ET||Seattle||-11 LW||At St. Louis||42.5|
Bye Weeks: Baltimore, Chicago, Houston, Indianapolis, San Diego, Tennessee
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