NFL Divisional Round Playoff Games

NFL Divisional Round playoff game predictions and game analysis.

Divisional Dilemmas

THE DECEMBER GOLDEN TAMPON AWARD

We had a veritable plethora of nominees for the December version of what we affectionately call “The Tampy”.

For you uninformed newbies out there, the Tampy is the award we give to the NFLer(s) who display unmanly or “vagaricious” tendencies.

Note: We will consider all athletes after the NFL season is over. How much you wanna bet that crybaby Mark McGwire gets serious attention?

Our December nominees included:

• The Steelers’ Mike Tomlin who promised to unleash hell only to condemn Steeler Nation to some kind of “pray for the playoffs” purgatory.
• Patriot beat writers for not holding Bill Belichick’s feet to the fire after he waved the white flag in the Big Easy.
• Belichick himself for waving that white flag.
• Randy Moss for being…Randy Moss.

The winner–suggested by my brilliant editor–

THE INDIANAPOLIS COLTS!!!!!!!

There are few times when ordinary men and women have even a sliver of history in their grasp. When a football team is two games away from a perfect season, they owe their fans, themselves, and history not to let the opportunity slip through their fingers.

The Colts laid down when they were up by six points on the Jets! The following week they didn’t even show up against the Bills.

A “vagicentric” act of poontangerocity unparalleled since the infamous “Black Sox” scandal of 1919. At least those wusses wanted to lose badly enough to cheat.

The Dolts have twisted the logic of their rationale to “stay healthy” in order to win the Super Bowl into some kind of absurdist pretzel. They played two full games–and half of another–after having clinched a first round bye. Was the risk of injury any greater in Weeks 14 and 15 than Weeks 16 1/2 and 17? In fact wouldn’t it make more sense to sit your best talent as early as possible, then play them in the final two weeks? Wouldn’t that minimize the accumulation of rust–which Indy has been victimized by in three previous post seasons since 1999?

Jim Caldwell and his players insisted that going undefeated had no historical significance.

Really?

Yet here was the winningest rookie coach in league history waxing poetic on other records, the 23 game regular season win streak and the most wins in a decade record!!!!!!

It (the record) is one of those things we talk about. We kind of identify the milestones on Wednesday morning when we get in. We talk about some of the things we’re accomplishing,” coach Jim Caldwell said. “The guys appreciate it, but it’s not something that goes to their heads.”

Full story here: http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/34301996/ns/sports-nfl/

Let’s be honest… if in, say, Week 5, someone had asked you to name the team with the most wins in a decade or which team owned the consecutive win streak, would you have known? You could probably have guessed those two teams correctly, but you know who had the only perfect season.

If that doesn’t convince you the Colts were blowin’ smoke up our rumps about how a perfect season is “not historically significant”, check this out:

http://www.nfl.com/news/story?id=09000d5d814c3cc3&template=with-video-with-comments&confirm=true

DIVISIONAL ROUND

We came within a Green Bay mistake of pulling out a .500 week from the wildcard weekend. Reality says we were 1-3. Only the Cowboys’ demolition of the Eagles saved us from an “OH-Fer.”

Count me as one who did not find the Packer/Arizona game as one of the greatest of all time.

Please. The 1972 AFC Championship game was, by far the greatest game I’ve ever seen. Except for a Miami victory on a late fourth quarter fake punt, it was a perfectly played game. A very young Pittsburgh team outplayed the Fish for much of the game–a game coached and played by more Hall-of-Famers than any other. Miami won 21-17.

In 1971, Miami and Kansas City only played an 82 minute and 40 second game. In 1981, back-up QB Don Strock brought the Dolphins back from a 24-0 first quarter deficit against Kellen Winslow and the Bolts, only to lose when two kicks were blocked–one in overtime. There was well-played defense, strong special teams, balanced offense, and great coaching.

Don’t get me wrong, the Cardinal/Packer slugfest was an all-time classic, but does anyone else wonder why modern day announcers tend to anoint every significant achievement occurring in the present moment as the greatest or best ever? Do they have no respect for history, or are they simply trying to hype their product?

Sorry, am I being too cynical?

CHANGING THE GAME

Roger Goodell and his minions better be careful. Their obsession with skewing the rules to favor offenses might change the game for the worse–and turn a lot of fans off.

This weekend, note the line blocking on a typical pass play. Offensive linemen “arm bar” defensive linemen routinely. Arm barring–a euphemism for choking–occurs when a defensive linemen tries to go around his blocker and gets a straight arm thrust into his Adam’s apple. Watch the Rat Bird’s Michael Ohfer block Dwght Freeney. Ohfer has the footwork of a very large mambo dancer, but Freeney will frustrate him. The Cowboy’s Flozell Adams will have to block Jared Allen all day.

Do your own tally of arm bars and holdings that are never called.

Of course, wide receivers get away with a tamer version of the arm bar against defensive backs, not to mention the blatant push-offs that never catch the ref’s eye.

THE GAMES

Arizona vs. New Orleans

Look for Gregg Williams to pull some defensive surprises on Warner and the Red Birds. One way to defend Warner is for D-linemen to get their hands up if they can’t get to him. If the Holy Men can pressure Warner, it could be another perfect storm in the Big Easy.

The wild card will be halftime adjustments, of which Cardinal head honcho, Ken Whisenhut, is a master. That having been said, I just don’t see Arizona having the defensive horses to outdistance Drew Brees and the Saints offense.

New Orleans 40, Arizona 27

Baltimore vs. Indianapolis

Indy comes off a bye week with a 2×4 on their shoulder pads because “some people” thought they made the wrong decision to fold their tent in Week 15. The punditocracy points to the nimble tree trunks posing as Ray Rice’s legs as the instruments of another Colts’ early round demise.

In a Week 11 game at Baltimore Ray Rice had 71 yards rushing. The Colts dared Flacco to beat them; he couldn’t. The Colts defense is under-rated, rested and ready. The Ravens defense, while still excellent, is on the decline. No way Flacco outguns Manning.

Colts 34, Ravens 21

Dallas vs. Minnesota – Upset of the Week

Call me wrong for insisting Brett Favre would implode from the weight of his gargantuan ego. I was right however to pick the Cowboys as the NFC entry in the Super Bowl.

That’s my story and I’m still pitching it.

The Cowboys are the hottest team in the league and man for man, Minnesota doesn’t quite match them talent-wise. The fly in that analysis’s ointment might lie in the Vikings special teams and Percy Harvin–the kid is gifted and could change the game’s complexion. But Brett Favre, like a zit waiting to be popped, will throw his usual ill-timed interception.

They may not win outright, but the ‘Boys will cover.

Cowboys 31, Vikings 28

San Diego vs. New York Jets – Lock of the Week

Phillip Rivers will wipe out the Mirage of Rex Ryan and the Jets. Rivers is itching to show that he is as worthy of a Super Bowl as his ‘05 classmates, Big Ben and Eli Manning. He’s hungry and the Chargers have the look of destiny.

The Jets have the look of a seriously overrated team from a weak division that played the top heavy NFC South–a team that slithered into the playoffs through a broken basement window.

I’ll say it again, great defenses don’t give up 170 rushing yards to Cedric Benson.

However, the Chargers are led by Norv Turner… They’ll survive Norv and it won’t be close.

Chargers 37, Jets 10

Here are the lines for the divisional round. My picks are in bold italics:

NFL 2009 Divisional Playoff Game Lines 1/16 – 1/17, 2010

Date & Time	Favorite	Line	Underdog	Total
1/16 4:30 ET	At New Orleans	-7	Arizona	57
1/16 8:15 ET	At Indianapolis	-6.5	Baltimore	44
1/17 1:00 ET	At Minnesota	-3	Dallas	45.5
1/17 4:40 ET	At San Diego	-7	NY Jets	42

 

• January 8, 2010 -- Wild Card Playoff Games – NFL Football (7)
• January 1, 2010 -- Week 17 Picks and Analysis – NFL Football (4)
• December 25, 2009 -- Week 16 Picks and Analysis – NFL Football (1)
• December 20, 2009 -- Christmas Gifts for Athletes (3)
• December 12, 2009 -- Week 14 Picks And Analysis (1)