The Hate List: 3/9/09 – NFL Teams
Monday, March 9, 2009 9:57
THE DALLAS CRYBOYS
Being from Texas: the first yellow flag against them. There seems to be a built in arrogance emanating from a lot of Texans I meet. Yeah, I know, biggest state, big egos, blah, blah, blah…
I thought I had let go of that personal bias until George Bush, eviscerated the Constitution, tortured people, and brought this country to the brinks of endless war and financial ruin.
Sorry, am I getting political? (Write my editor and complain).
The second yellow flag hits the Cowboys’ turf because they still bitch and moan about losing to the Steelers in Super Bowls XIII AND XIV. You know what, Pittsburgh was the team of the 70’s. We beat you twice. Shut the hell up.
Third yellow flag rains down because Jerry Jones and too many Cowboy players work too damn hard to earn the name “CryBoys.”
I hope Jones continues his arrogant meddling in football matters. It almost guarantees the Cowboys will continue sucking as they have sucked for what, 12 years, now?
Sometimes I watch a replay of Super Bowl 13 just to see Staubach’s pass clang off Jackie Smith’s chest. No, not because I am cruel, but it is the play all of Texas looks at as being the turning point of the game.
Waahh!!!
Truth is, the reception would have tied the score, not given Dallas the lead. Every team in every game can point to a play or plays that turns victory into defeat. Like Ray Lewis said after the Poe Birds lost the 2008 AFC championship. “They came out and made the plays. We didn’t, simple as that.”
Did I mention the arrogance of calling Dallas “America’s Team,” Jerry Jones’ meddling, the contrived and tired Texas mystique? I did?
Perhaps hate is to weak a word.
THE OAKLAND RAIDERS
I will trash talk, in a fun way, with any fan of any team. I will never fight over any Pittsburgh team, ever. It is friggin’ sports! Have fun, have a beer, but do not forget about what is truly important in life.
The whole Raider Nation—am I mistaken or are many of them featured in those Capital One commercials—take what should be a good-natured exercise and turn it into assault and battery, or murder.
If you are dressed as Attila the Hun and you and your henchmen are gang-beating a Charger fan to death on a Sunday afternoon, you need to reflect upon the purpose of your existence. Really…
Also, until very recently, John Madden would bring up the gut-wrenching Immaculate Reception—and how he still doubted Franco’s catch—during every broadcast featuring Pittsburgh. Funny how the former Raiders’ coach never admits if Jack Tatum hadn’t acted like a bad ass and unnecessarily blasted Frenchy Fuqua, the ball game would have been over.
Then, maybe, just maybe, in the following week’s AFC Championship, the “Raidaaas” would have beaten another hate list denizen…
THE MIAMI DOLPHINS
They will always have a hallowed Hate List rank because of the bush league, annual, playground ritual of popping champagne when the NFL’s last undefeated team loses. “Nyah, Nyah, Nyah, Nyah, Nyah, we’re still the only undefeated team.”
Maybe the ’72 Dolphins are too blitzed from the bubbly to realize how ridiculous they look—and how they diminish what in itself is a unique and great feat.
My Dad drove to my Uncle’s place in Ohio so we could watch that 1972 AFC Championship game: the hardest hitting, cleanest, most well-coached, greatest football game I’ve ever watched—and my team lost. When Shula called the fake punt that kept Miami’s game winning drive alive, I put a broomstick through my Uncle’s ceiling.
(I wasn’t drunk, honest. I simply don’t remember what I was doing with a broomstick. Everyone else in the house was drunk, so they don’t know either).
It was not until a few years ago I saw a retrospective on that game and learned Chuck Noll had instructed a player to watch for the fake. You can hear Noll yelling, “Fake!” on the sideline.
Point being, Miami made the play; Pittsburgh did not. And every time those stinkin’ Fish pop that champagne, they erode the greatness of that game and the brilliant undefeated season they capped off in the Super Bowl.
They deserve to be hated.
NEXT: The Top Two Teams I Hate Most
16 Responses to “The Hate List: 3/9/09 – NFL Teams”
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Nate Barlow
says:
March 9th, 2009 at 5:05 pm
As the husband of a wonderful Texas girl, I must protect her honor and that of her family and say how great Texans are.
That having been said, I have no particular affinity for the Cowboys. Calling them "America's Team" is an absolute joke. Maybe they could have been considered that in the past, but now they are largely hated by everyone outside of that state.
The Raiders… both the team and their fans are thugs. What does is it say that year after year, the Raiders are among the league leaders in penalties? A lack of discipline runs rampant at every level of the organization, an attitude the fans reflect. I hope Al Davis runs the team until he is in the grave, since as long as he is in charge, he'll run the team into the ground.
And, the Dolphins… No matter how big the rivalry is among the other AFC East teams, the on thing we agree upon is that we all hate the Fish. Obviously, as a Patriot fan, I wanted New England to win the Super Bowl over the Giants. But even more important than taking home the Lombardi Trophy again would have been shutting up the Dolphins and their fans about the perfect season once and for all. At least the Pats took away some of the remaining luster (not already removed by their classlessness) by matching–and surpassing–the undefeated regular season.
nicholas brandt
says:
March 9th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
As a life long Buffalo Bills fan, I used to hate the Dolphins with all my heart. Then, they spent so many seasons playing horribly, it was hard to work up the hate. As they round the corner, I'll see if it all comes back to me. They say hating is like riding a bike. We shall see
Nate Barlow
says:
March 9th, 2009 at 11:16 am
Speaking of the Bills and a Hate List, how do you feel about Buffalo picking up a player that everyone despises in Terrell Owens?
Gairzo
says:
March 10th, 2009 at 5:28 am
Setting the record straight: I did basic USAF training at Lackland; met some great people during a visit soon thereafter…I just really resent a team from anywhere marketing themselves as America's team. I think Jerry Jones is about to do to the NFL what Steinbrenner did to MLB and what Bush's Texas team did to this country. I'm just sick of the "Bigger the better" mentality embodied by many in Texas, especially when that mentality has us teetering on economic Armageddon.
Nicholas, don't worry dude. With Parcells at the helm, the hate meter will be in the red before you know it.
Nate, your point on the Raidas lack of discipline is dead on. Back in the '70's when the NFL allowed on-field thuggery that paralyzed Daryl Stingley and nearly killed Lynn Swann, such gangster behavior may have been a plus. Davis never evolved from that Neanderthal approach. His Raiders and some of their fans have become caricatures of themselves and it's more sad than funny, sometimes. Mostly I just laugh at jag-offs who spend their weekends dressing like Visigoths for a team that can't win more than 5 games a year…Commitment to Incompetence.
Buffalo, Wilson, and Jauron all wreak of desperation. Buffalo–the city and the team–suffers from a serious inferiority complex. No doubt, Toronto's desire for an NFL team, and whispers the Bills might move there, have Wilson crapping snow balls. He figures he has to do something to sell tickets. Owens–as undeniably great as he is between the lines–is a locker room malignancy. Tom Curran just posted a column detailing the genuine definition of a narcissist; Owens is the poster child for that disorder. Jauron knows what he's getting and is risking the last rungs of his head coaching career won't splinter from the weight of Owens' ego.
Prediction: The Bills start out 3-0, finish 2-11.
Wilson evidently never got the memo that hiring retread coaches only runs your team into the ground. If he doesn't learn after this year, we may be welcoming the Toronto Tom Cats into the league
Nate Barlow
says:
March 10th, 2009 at 4:18 pm
i read a story ripping Al Davis on Yahoo! Sports recently and was amazed that half the comments from Raiders fans actually DEFENDED Davis. The guy is destroying the franchise with bad signing after bad signing and a perpetual coaching carousel. It really doesn't say much about your intelligence if you defend the person ruining the team you supposedly loved.
Just like coaches and aging players, owners can become obsolete.
Which begs the question: is Jerry Jones or Al Davis the George Steinbrenner of the NFL?
Better yet, which is the Hank and Hal Steinbrenner, since the sons are making ol' George look like a likable and resonable man in comparison?
NicholasBrandt
says:
March 10th, 2009 at 5:52 pm
Statistical fact — Owens is great in his first year with a team.
Owens has something to prove each time and he goes out and gets the job done. It's after pro-longed exposure that things start to fall apart. Can the Bills do it all this year? I don't know. The odds are against them, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything. They picked up a weapon they absolutely needed to jumpstart an offense that didn't have two threatening receivers. Owens presence frees up Evans and creates running room for Lynch. This was a good move, not a desperate one, but it is also not a long term one either. They have a season to make it work.
Nate Barlow
says:
March 10th, 2009 at 5:58 pm
Interesting point about Owens. You're right about the one season window. If the Bills really want to make it work, they should be as aggresive as possible to surround Owens with enough other talent to make that run this year–but do you mortgage the future?
NicholasBrandt
says:
March 10th, 2009 at 6:39 pm
There is no need to mortgage the future.
Buffalo has a streak of a couple 7-9 seasons under their belts. They’ve been on the verge of being a true competitor. QB Trent Edwards continues to grow in the system. RB Marshawn Lynch brings solid play. WR Lee Evans is underrated and plays well considering he didn’t have another solid WR to take the pressure off of him. That arrives in the form of Owens. The defense has played solid ball. If Owens has a moderate to good season, expect the Bills to make a good Wild Card bid at least. The only question with Owens – will he drop the balls he dropped last season?
The only question with the Bills as a whole – do they have the coaching to round the corner? The talent, with the addition of Owens to the arsenal, is ready to perform.
Nate Barlow
says:
March 10th, 2009 at 7:01 pm
Owens may be enough to garner a Wild Card, but I doubt he is enough to make a real championship run. No matter how good someone is, in a sport like football the addition of one player is rarely enough to make that massive a difference. He can make a big difference, yes, such as playoff near-miss to playoff bound, but not so much as to take playoff near-miss to championship contender. There are too many players and too many variables. Basketball is the one team sport where a single player can make ALL the difference (e.g., LeBron James–the Cavaliers are nothing without him).
NicholasBrandt
says:
March 10th, 2009 at 8:02 pm
The misconception that people are working under is that the Bills now have TO and no one else. Edwards. Evans. Lynch. TO doesn't MAKE their offense, he completes it.
Nate Barlow
says:
March 10th, 2009 at 8:52 pm
Not assuming that all. The Bills have a good solid core on offense; TO should be enough to make them a playoff team (that is assuming, he doesn't go all TO, but as you pointed out, that usually starts in Season Two with a team). I just maintain that, looking at the core in place of ANY team, the addition of one player is very rarely enough for a team to make the jump from looking in at the playoffs to championship contention. I'm not talking about the nature of the team–I'm talking about the nature of the sport.
Gairzo
says:
March 10th, 2009 at 8:54 pm
There have been rumors about the Bills future in Buffalo for a couple years now. Wilson himself said he believes the team will be sold when he dies. Wilson wants to win a Super Bowl before that happens. Jauron knows he's on the hot seat, and Brandon as much admitted the deal was made to show the fans the Bills are committed to winning.
Nothing wrong with that, but desperation is in play.
"Good" and "desperate" are not mutually exclusive terms anyway. There will be more media and fans at training camp, and the Bills will be on the national radar–all good for the Bills. They get an elite receiver at a good price, again, good for the Bills. But when you risk locker room cohesion and chemistry by hiring a proven narcissist, you are risking the long term health of your team
Also, T.O. must realize there will be no one to love him–or pay him millions—if he turns the Bills into a soap opera.
We'll see how the Bills' brass reacts when Owens doesn't get the ball ad throws one of his tantrums.
NicholasBrandt
says:
March 10th, 2009 at 9:50 pm
two quick things —
1) TO is usually at his best (and on his best behavior) the first season with a team.
2) Why wouldn't you throw TO the ball? He won't have anything to complain about in that department.
Gairzo
says:
March 10th, 2009 at 10:18 pm
Agree on number 1, but that doesn't preclude a jag-off like T.O. from being a…well…a jag-off.
Number 2…
T.O. will draw double coverage. That's why Romo wasn't getting him the ball. If I'm defending Buffalo, I do what the Eagles, Giants, Ravens did to stifle Dallas: put my best corner on Owens, rotate a safety his way, or, if need be double him, and make Evans beat me. If the Bills do make that strategy backfire, Owens will throw a fit because he's not getting the ball.
Buffalo is taking a risk. We'll see what dividends it pays.
Nate Barlow
says:
March 11th, 2009 at 2:54 am
To an extent, even the best receivers are only as good as the next best receiver on the team, without which the defense will always double up the star. Fitzgerald had Boudin and Breaston, Moss has Welker… these guys open up the deep threat.
NicholasBrandt
says:
March 11th, 2009 at 7:23 am
They can't double cover TO and Evans.